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Remember we all have personality traits, which does not make us personality disordered.

Notoriously famous personality disorders discussed in films, courts, and domestic disputes are all part of the dramatic-erratic cluster: The Narcissist, The Antisocial, The Individual with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or a combination of two: Antisocial Narcissistic and/or Borderline Narcissistic.

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Remember you cannot make somebody happy – happiness is an inside job! My German grandmother used to say, “ Hope is the last to die.” Yes, certainly there is always hope yet – baseline behavior aka normalcy as you and experience it is a long hike away for people with BPD.

This contributes to the feeling of being emotionally drained in a partnership. The good news is that once in our thirties our energy level decreases naturally and hence even individuals with BPD will have less vigor at their disposal.

Constant feelings of emptiness prompt her to seek stimulation from the outside.

The partner becomes the main outlet for her entertainment, self-respect, or self-loathing – an overwhelming job to handle!

It’s an intensive program consisting of both group sessions for skills training and individual therapy with focus on validation and change of thought patterns.

Treatment can only work when your partner a) Is ready for treatment – not to please you but because life has become unmanageable; b) Commits to a consistent 12-months treatment program consisting of individual and group therapy; c) Commits to working on homework assignments to transfer what she learns in therapy to real life; d) Agrees to life affirming actions in form of working on the difficulties rather than continuing down the path of self-destruction; Yes, you heard right – it’s not you who has to be ready – it’s her!Nevertheless the healthy mate wonders, “Why are we on these constant roller coaster rides?” Sooner rather than later he starts to resent walking on eggshells around his lover.The film Fatal Attraction (quite an excellent performance by Glenn Close) and the recent court case of Jodi Arias come to mind.What do all the films and print stories have in common? Dating a person with BPD is not part of your deal – or so you thought.As Marsha Linehan (1993), one of the foremost researchers in the treatment of BPD proclaims in her book Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder over 70% of patients with BPD present with histories of childhood sexual abuse.

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